Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Bleep! Yeah Fanged Pumpkins

Get ready to pee your pants with delight.
When I first saw Martha Stewart's Fanged Pumpkins (thanks to  Diane of CraftyPod) I freaked out.  Like seriously my brain wouldn't think about anything else.

Must to have.  Must to have.  Must to have ...

Acquire Pumpkins

The next trip to the grocery store, I bought some mini pumpkins.  I buy mini decorative pumpkins every year.  I just can't resist.  It's not a Halloween thing, it's an "I love Autumn" thing.

Autumn is my favorite season, not only was I born in October*, but I also have Autumn coloring (according to Color Me Beautiful circa 1987).  I love the chill in the air, the food, the turning leaves, everything.  I'm all about Fall.

Acquire Map Pins

At work someone posted a map with all our clients marked with map pins.  I told her about the pumpkins and asked if she had any pins with red heads.  She did!  I've had a pile of red-headed map pins on my desk, waiting.

Acquire Teeth and Miniature Saws

Pumpkins, pins ... but no teeth!  Every time I passed a Halloween store, it was closed.  So last night I stopped at one on my way home from work and picked up four sets of vampire teeth and a pumpkin carving set.

Then I went back to the grocery store and bought more pumpkins.  Then I ate dinner.  THEN, the moment I've been anticipating for weeks came: I started cutting up my pumpkins.

This is the first hole I cut.  This is when I realized this might actually work.  I couldn't stop smiling.


- If you get a "drill" in your set, use it first to make a hole then start in the drilled hole with your saw.

- A butter knife works best for scraping the insides clean through that tiny hole.

- The bumpy yellow gourd was a hard like a rock and almost broke my miniature saw.  I suggest you avoid them.

Sorry for this awful photo.  The outer edge of the hole is the same size in both of these photos.  When you first cut the hole on pumpkins with thick walls, they'll look like the top photo.  You'll need to re-saw the edges to make the sides go in straight, like the bottom photo so your teeth will fit nicely.

I made the first two pumpkins with the small-sized mouth hole (the Martha instructions include hole guides for a small and large mouth opening).  On the third one, I cut the large mouth hole.  I don't really like how the teeth look open more in the big hole, so I cut them apart and pinned them into the pumpkin.  It was really hard.  If you have any thoughts about how to affix vampire teeth to a pumpkin, I'd love to hear them!

It's a good idea to use the teeth as one piece held in-place by tension, because if your pumpkin dries or changes shape, they'll stay put.  But you can get way more creative with cut up teeth, as you can see in the bumpy yellow pumpkin with the crazy mouth.  Hopefully the cut teeth last for a while. :)

And now I will drown you in photos.  Beauty shot and mouth close up for each of the four pumpkins I made ...

This little guy was my first.  As soon as I was done with him and I had his teeth in, I started laughing uncontrollably.  It was an "Oh-ho-ho-ho" kind of laugh.  Like an "I can't believe this is actually happening" and "nothing is more awesome than this very moment" laugh.

As you can see in the photo at the top of this post, I originally planned to have him round-side down.  But he became unbalanced after I cut out the mouth hole and hollowed him out.  I decided to just go with it and he looks like he's laying back screaming ... with an under-bite.

I was super finicky about cutting the mouth hole.  I kept shaving off bits until the teeth fit perfectly.

I love the coloring on this one.  I gave it to the coworker that provided the red map pins.  She found one of those battery powered tea lights and put it in him.  Looks so awesome!

I was super finicky about cutting this mouth hole, too.

This is the biggest of the bunch.  The connected teeth mostly just showed the jaw bits, so I cut the teeth and pinned them in.

I was having trouble making a nice mouth hole and having trouble neatly pinning in the teeth.  My other innovation was to make the two pointed cuts at the top of the mouth to make the teeth look like they're fitting better than they are.  They add a little personality, too.

Now that I was OK with cutting the teeth apart, I decided to make two non-parallel planes for the teeth.  Because this gourd was hard as a rock, it was really difficult to finesse the opening, but the dramatic teeths hide all that tomfoolery.

In fact, no one even notices all those pin heads.  Do you see the pin heads inside the mouth?  I had to do those after I'd attached the bottom teeth, so I had my finger stuck in his mouth trying to press them through the plastic teeth and into the gourd.  For a second, I thought, "Please don't let him bite me!"  Ha!

So I gave the little white one to my co-worker and I took the crazy-awesome bumpy one home for admiring.  I left these two babies at work to display as a part of my forest fantasy tableau (ha!).  

I couldn't love these guys more!

*Can you believe I just turned 40?!  Me neither.

Also, big thanks to Amy for the idea to use "Bleep!" in the title.  I'm totally not shy about dropping f-bombs, but I'm guessing there aren't many people besides me who welcome a capital F-Bomb in their feed reader or email box in reference to mini pumpkins ... ha!

60 Comments (comments are disabled)

Kavitha KR said ...
Freaking awesome work. Your pumpkins totally rock!
10/19/2011 1:28 AM

crafteemom said ...
Boo! Love them!! Especially the last one with the crooked teeth! Happy Birthday!! I just turned 40 too! Another thing we have in common, besides craftiness and a love for pumpkins :)
10/19/2011 1:35 AM

futuregirl replied ...
crafteemom ... Happy Birthday!
10/19/2011 5:03 PM

Arielle said ...
Loved your pumpkins so much I had to show my hubby! He thought they were totally awesome, too! Our favorite is the bumpy yellow gourd (of course it had to be the one you suggest we avoid.) They're all so full of personality! Thanks for sharing!
10/19/2011 2:03 AM

kingshearte said ...
The expletive wouldn't have bothered me either, but this strikes me as just the sort of situation where perhaps a "Boo-yeah!" would have worked well.

In any case, your pumpkins are adorable. Nice job.
10/19/2011 4:25 AM

futuregirl replied ...
kingshearte ... I'm more likely to drop an f-bomb than a pun. One must have standards ... hahaha!
10/19/2011 5:04 PM

Lydia said ...
These are sooo fabulous! I love that crazy wonky bumpy one but they could all live at my house and be adored. If I see some teeth, I just may make some myself!
10/19/2011 4:58 AM

Sister Diane said ...
Holy Bleep, these are freaking awesome! And as always, it's so much fun seeing your carefully-crafted variations on the original design.

That warty one with the crooked mouth just makes my heart swell.
10/19/2011 5:20 AM

Carine said ...
Funny crazy little pumpkins :)
One of my friends also carves pumpkins for Halloween:
Here, in France, we do not celebrate Halloween, thus we eat the pumpkins ;)
I want to try a pumpkin pie recipe.
10/19/2011 7:35 AM

Carine said ...
BTW, you look younger than 40 :) Happy birthday.
10/19/2011 7:37 AM

futuregirl replied ...
Carine ... Gah, you're a sweetie. :)
10/19/2011 5:04 PM

Elly said ...
PMSL! They are so great!
10/19/2011 7:45 AM

Mo said ...
I can't look at them without laughing a little bit. I realize the bumpy one was hell to cut into, but I love its wonky mouth.
10/19/2011 8:27 AM

pam said ...
OMG! This post and all your joy in making these most excellent gourd/pumpkin vampire wannabes just made my entire day! I must go spend the day doing something I do NOT want to do (rather be crafting) and now i can bring your pumpkin faces to mind every time i need to banish the grumpies!

These are brilliant! Love the one with the wonky mouth! And don't worry about the pins - they pretty much look like braces!

Diane sent this over to me this morning knowing full well I am behind even in my BFF file in the reader. I must give her an extra big hug cause this post is one of the best ever! Pinning it now! Bookmarking it! LOVE it!
10/19/2011 9:06 AM

Beanie said ...
This is extremely bleeping bleepity fantastically awesome!!!!
10/19/2011 9:18 AM

Carmen said ...
These pumpkins are absolutely hilarious! I love how each one has its own distinct personality and seems to be saying something to you. At least, they seem to be talking to me. Uh oh. :)

I also really love that crochet mushroom in your tableau!
10/19/2011 10:13 AM

linda permann said ...
Love how excited you are about these, and it's totally contagious! What cute....I mean, SCARY! pumpkins!!
10/19/2011 10:13 AM

Sonya said ...
So, so, so, so, SO good! Tiny, menacing red eyes are the best.
10/19/2011 10:38 AM

isa said ...
Happy birthday Alice !!!!!

I totally love these pumpkins. They look so fun.
I already saw these on your flickr and fall in love immediately
10/19/2011 11:40 AM

futuregirl replied ...
isa ... Thanks! :)
10/19/2011 5:05 PM

Amy said ...
So cute! I love how you used a variety of gourds, not just pumpkins--the bumpy ones are especially ghoulish.
10/19/2011 11:45 AM

Kristen said ...
Ahhh!!! I just saw these somewhere else and really want to make one - I LOVE yours! Especially the awesome bumpy yellow one. :)

And Happy Birthday! Mine was last week - October is a good month for a birthday. And also, you do NOT look 40! Also also - I feel like I should throw in a few more exclamation points just because I've used so many already!!! This post makes me anxious to buy some plastic teeth!!! Haha :)
10/19/2011 11:53 AM

futuregirl replied ...
Kristen ... Happy Birthday! You're a sweetheart!
10/19/2011 5:05 PM

Laura Khalil said ...
OMG I LOVE THESE! I think my favorite is from the little guy whose jaw is askew. Yay for halloween!
10/19/2011 12:07 PM

Angela said ...
AAAAAAK! so much fun! A great new twist on carving pumpkins with my teenagers.
10/19/2011 12:26 PM

Sam said ...
those are SO wonderful! i need one, and i absolutely love your narrative. thank you for being so excited about it, thank you for telling us how excited you are, and thank you for letting me, in turn, be that, excited :)
10/19/2011 4:10 PM

futuregirl replied ...
Sam ... Ha! I have no end of excitement about these pumpkins. If I hear anyone in the hallway near my office, I yell, "Wanna see my pumpkins?!" I'm cracking myself up. :)
10/19/2011 5:09 PM

Karen said ...
omg these are amazing, and we don't "do" Halloween here in Australia but I want to try these!
10/19/2011 6:35 PM

Annie said ...
Those are fucking killer. Must have!!! I am forwarding this post to my girlfriend so she can make some for our Halloween party. You rock!

10/19/2011 7:09 PM

futuregirl replied ...
Annie ... Kick ass!
10/22/2011 10:28 PM

crafteemom said ...
Thank You!!!
10/20/2011 1:23 AM

Seanna Lea said ...
These are super awesome. I love it!

And you do not look like you are even in the ballpark of 40.
10/20/2011 8:43 AM

futuregirl replied ...
Seanna Lea ... Ha! I pick good pictures to post on here. ;) Seriously, though, thank you
10/20/2011 9:00 AM

Jennifer Rose said ...
they turned out great! very cute but perfect and perfect for this time of year :)
10/20/2011 12:22 PM

Deb Stewart said ...
I love the fanged gourds! What a fabulous idea!
10/20/2011 3:05 PM

Jenny G. said ...
thank you so much for posting this. it has made my day- now i must do this myself! and i totally get being that excited about these- i just showed a co-worker your pictures too. now i just have to find some fangs!
10/20/2011 3:09 PM

Miranda said ...
SOOOO CUTE! I wanna get pumpkins now so I can do this too! Thanks for sharing. :)
10/20/2011 5:04 PM

geek+nerd said ...
I totally had the same reaction when I saw these in Living. So stinkin' fun! I love how yours turned out!
10/20/2011 5:08 PM

Nics said ...
Like! Like! Like! :)
10/20/2011 5:30 PM

Elizabeth said ...
So, so cute!
10/20/2011 6:56 PM

Judi said ...
Those are awesome!
Can't believe you're 40 girl...
My husband and I have a game, I keep telling everyone I'm 29 and then he calls me out. Good times!
10/20/2011 7:43 PM

futuregirl replied ...
Judi ... Maybe you should bribe him to keep your secret. ;) I'd totally believe you're 29, though.
10/22/2011 10:29 PM

sarah said ...
ADORABLE. I tried them myself just hours after seeing this blog. I got the gourds from Dominick's, and surprisingly, even the bumpy ones were easy to carve. Though I wasn't careful pinning the teeth and the first gourd did bite me! I also managed to put the pins in the back of the teeth so you can't see them from the front.
10/21/2011 6:29 PM

futuregirl replied ...
sarah ... Lucky you! Maybe I should take a little knife with me and poke all the bumpy gourds next time and find the easy-to-cut ones. ;)
10/22/2011 10:29 PM

Jessie said ...
Those. Are. Awesome. I can't decide which one I like best!
10/22/2011 6:27 AM

Heidi said ...
Loooove these. Thanks for making me obsessed, now. I don't know if it is how spectacular these turned out, or your general excitement about the whole ordeal that makes me want to do this now. Probably both.

I turn 30 soon, and I'm terrified. But a little less so now -- you're an awesome 40 (I never would have guessed).
10/22/2011 7:02 AM

futuregirl replied ...
Heidi ... I loved turning 30. The last 10 years were incredible. I'm sure it's not the same for eveyrone, though. :) Happy Early-Birthday!
10/22/2011 10:30 PM

Anni said ...
Hi, saw this the other day and thought they were absolutely adorable! You inspired me to give it a try - and I've never even touched a pumpkin before! If you want to see them, I put a picture up over at

Thank you for the inspiration, I had a great time making them . :)
10/22/2011 3:29 PM

Jaimi said ...
HECK YA!! I freaking love these! Soooo funny! The guy with the sideways mouth is the best one. :)
10/22/2011 8:22 PM

futuregirl replied ...
Jaimi ... Ha! Thanks for stopping by!
10/22/2011 10:30 PM

Kimmifer said ...
Agggghhhhhhahahahahaa! These are the cutest little things EVAR!
We grew pumpkins in the backyard this year and I've had several sitting on the counter while I try to decide what to do with them. This idea may have to put into practice on at least one of them.
Also, as an avid user of f-bombs, you might be interested to hear that there is a documentary all about the use of the word in current culture and what-not. It's called F*CK. Check it out. :)
10/23/2011 10:54 AM

Sharon said ...
I absolutely loved these, too, when I saw them on MSL! Your's turned out so cute. Love the idea of cutting the teeth apart. Would putting little holes in the teeth first work better for inserting the pins? Haven't gotten them yet.
10/23/2011 1:30 PM

futuregirl replied ...
Sharon ... I did pre-hole them, it's just super awkward. :)
10/29/2011 9:34 PM

kala said ...
I LOVE these!
10/24/2011 9:54 AM

This is so cool! I have NEVER seen this done and am so excited to try it out. What a wonderful handmade idea. Can't wait to send them out as Halloween gifts!
10/28/2011 10:32 AM

Kuky said ...
Love this. And I already have mini pumpkins. But no teeth...
10/30/2011 3:22 AM

cara said ...
teehee. those are awesome. :)
*SuperHard Pumpkin Bonus: if it's impossible to carve, it usually lasts a long time. Once you're done with it inside, they even last well outside in the yard/garden.
10/30/2011 1:03 PM

futuregirl replied ...
cara ... I was hoping so, but one of the warty things is turning weird colors and blooming like a bruise. Maybe I bumped it too much when I was wrestling with it and the saw. Ha!
11/1/2011 2:58 PM

Heh, cute little pumpkins! I carved my first pumpkin ever this year, but it got gross quick. Is there a trick to making them last longer and not rot?
11/3/2011 10:48 PM
Paige said ...
Loved the pumpkins so much that I went out last night and picked up some vampire teeth and pumpkins. Now I have my own vampire minions! They reside above my sink, ready to do my bidding or make me smile.
Thanks for the inspiration!
10/25/2012 7:18 AM