Get ready to pee your pants with delight.
When I first saw Martha Stewart's Fanged Pumpkins (thanks to  Diane of CraftyPod) I freaked out.  Like seriously my brain wouldn't think about anything else.

Must to have.  Must to have.  Must to have ...

Acquire Pumpkins

The next trip to the grocery store, I bought some mini pumpkins.  I buy mini decorative pumpkins every year.  I just can't resist.  It's not a Halloween thing, it's an "I love Autumn" thing.

Autumn is my favorite season, not only was I born in October*, but I also have Autumn coloring (according to Color Me Beautiful circa 1987).  I love the chill in the air, the food, the turning leaves, everything.  I'm all about Fall.

Acquire Map Pins

At work someone posted a map with all our clients marked with map pins.  I told her about the pumpkins and asked if she had any pins with red heads.  She did!  I've had a pile of red-headed map pins on my desk, waiting.

Acquire Teeth and Miniature Saws

Pumpkins, pins ... but no teeth!  Every time I passed a Halloween store, it was closed.  So last night I stopped at one on my way home from work and picked up four sets of vampire teeth and a pumpkin carving set.

Then I went back to the grocery store and bought more pumpkins.  Then I ate dinner.  THEN, the moment I've been anticipating for weeks came: I started cutting up my pumpkins.

This is the first hole I cut.  This is when I realized this might actually work.  I couldn't stop smiling.

Tips

- If you get a "drill" in your set, use it first to make a hole then start in the drilled hole with your saw.

- A butter knife works best for scraping the insides clean through that tiny hole.

- The bumpy yellow gourd was a hard like a rock and almost broke my miniature saw.  I suggest you avoid them.

Sorry for this awful photo.  The outer edge of the hole is the same size in both of these photos.  When you first cut the hole on pumpkins with thick walls, they'll look like the top photo.  You'll need to re-saw the edges to make the sides go in straight, like the bottom photo so your teeth will fit nicely.

I made the first two pumpkins with the small-sized mouth hole (the Martha instructions include hole guides for a small and large mouth opening).  On the third one, I cut the large mouth hole.  I don't really like how the teeth look open more in the big hole, so I cut them apart and pinned them into the pumpkin.  It was really hard.  If you have any thoughts about how to affix vampire teeth to a pumpkin, I'd love to hear them!

It's a good idea to use the teeth as one piece held in-place by tension, because if your pumpkin dries or changes shape, they'll stay put.  But you can get way more creative with cut up teeth, as you can see in the bumpy yellow pumpkin with the crazy mouth.  Hopefully the cut teeth last for a while. :)

And now I will drown you in photos.  Beauty shot and mouth close up for each of the four pumpkins I made ...

This little guy was my first.  As soon as I was done with him and I had his teeth in, I started laughing uncontrollably.  It was an "Oh-ho-ho-ho" kind of laugh.  Like an "I can't believe this is actually happening" and "nothing is more awesome than this very moment" laugh.

As you can see in the photo at the top of this post, I originally planned to have him round-side down.  But he became unbalanced after I cut out the mouth hole and hollowed him out.  I decided to just go with it and he looks like he's laying back screaming ... with an under-bite.

I was super finicky about cutting the mouth hole.  I kept shaving off bits until the teeth fit perfectly.

I love the coloring on this one.  I gave it to the coworker that provided the red map pins.  She found one of those battery powered tea lights and put it in him.  Looks so awesome!

I was super finicky about cutting this mouth hole, too.

This is the biggest of the bunch.  The connected teeth mostly just showed the jaw bits, so I cut the teeth and pinned them in.

I was having trouble making a nice mouth hole and having trouble neatly pinning in the teeth.  My other innovation was to make the two pointed cuts at the top of the mouth to make the teeth look like they're fitting better than they are.  They add a little personality, too.

Now that I was OK with cutting the teeth apart, I decided to make two non-parallel planes for the teeth.  Because this gourd was hard as a rock, it was really difficult to finesse the opening, but the dramatic teeths hide all that tomfoolery.

In fact, no one even notices all those pin heads.  Do you see the pin heads inside the mouth?  I had to do those after I'd attached the bottom teeth, so I had my finger stuck in his mouth trying to press them through the plastic teeth and into the gourd.  For a second, I thought, "Please don't let him bite me!"  Ha!

So I gave the little white one to my co-worker and I took the crazy-awesome bumpy one home for admiring.  I left these two babies at work to display as a part of my forest fantasy tableau (ha!).  

I couldn't love these guys more!

*Can you believe I just turned 40?!  Me neither.

Also, big thanks to Amy for the idea to use "Bleep!" in the title.  I'm totally not shy about dropping f-bombs, but I'm guessing there aren't many people besides me who welcome a capital F-Bomb in their feed reader or email box in reference to mini pumpkins ... ha!