I can't stop the "trying to make a sweater" train, so I'm just going with it ... doomed or no.  I was all ready to give up, but then Ellen B. suggested crocheting in the back loops only.

Just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in ...

I just *had* to try it out.

I tried a back-and-forth single crochet in just the back loops.  I love the way it looks, especially the horizontal line between the rows.

And I also experimented with ways to increase stitches.  I kinda like doing a sc in the back loop and then another in the front loop of the same stitch.  The stitches lay pretty flat.

But I don't like that the increases are so obvious and sorta mar the monotony of the single crochet stitches.  Plus, as you can see from the arrows (which I first typed as "errors" ... ha!), I didn't really plan out where I was making the increases, so they are sorta spiraling out from the collar, which looks weird.

Back to the drawing board.

p.s.  Yes, indeed, knitting would be the way to go ... but I'm not a knitter ... yet.