Thursday, December 27, 2007

Introspective

The last week has seen some making of the crocheting and sewing sort, but everything is in an unfinished, unsatisfying stage.  I'm also working on the FutureBlog, which is in the same ponderous state.  Everything just seems a little 'ugh' right now.  Frankly, I blame the short, short days.

Maybe it's the coming new year, but I'm getting very introspective.  I don't know what questions I'm pondering, but I feel answers looming just ahead.  I'm trying to be patient while I wait for them to show up.  I feel a combination of excitement and fear.

Yesterday I started a deep-cleaning of the apartment.  We've lived here almost three years, which is the longest we've lived in the same apartment since we met.  It's amazing how much dust can collect behind things in three years!  As I move through the apartment, I'm looking at everything with a critical eye, "Do we need this?  Do we use this?"  It feels good to get rid of all the stuff that has collected in the nooks an crannies.
11 Comments leave a comment


SisterDG said ...
12/27/2007 12:01 PM
Ahhhhhh, New Year Purge. One of my favorite things. I actually love this odd, rather pregnant time of year - the new year hasn't yet formed into an endless to-do list, and there's a bit of precious space for thinking about these big questions. I know you're going to do big, wondrous things in 2008.


natrietia said ...
12/27/2007 12:18 PM
Hello! I have found your blog a very interesting site and you have been incredibly philanthropic with your creative energy. The measure of your giving will inevitably come back to you. "Give and it will be given to you." I have something to share with you ... I have been in the same place that you are in and I have found that there is nothng more valuable and profoundly life changing than peace. I pray that you would begin to feel the peace that surpasses what you understand about yourself. You may have certain knowledge but however detailed it is, still it is lacking. It is incomplete. Your intropection of things, most notably about your own desires, will and emotions ...are coming to closure. I see you having the answers you have sought to find for years, dare I say decades... since you were a little girl ...those questions about existence and the deep mediatation of things ...yes, those simple things, the sound of the birds chirping ... the "color" of water ... there are answers ... search them out with your heart, quite your mind ... and search them with your heart. Be encouraged. Don't be dismayed. I'm praying for you. God Bless!


Green Kitchen said ...
12/27/2007 12:20 PM
I'm in the same space, but mine is pretty negative. Wish I had the purging gene.


LeeAnn said ...
12/27/2007 1:44 PM
It's amazing how a little item purging can make your self and environment more pleasing. I went to my sewing room to find a magnet and ended up (5 hours later) sorting, rearranged, and purged multiple boxes. This is going to be a good year.


Scarlet Tanager said ...
12/27/2007 3:41 PM
Funny how it just feels right to cleanse and purge this time of year. All that cleaning will help the short days feel a little more bearable and the "busyness" of it will give you plenty of time to think and plan for the upcoming year.
I wish you happiness and many blessings in the the new year!


ShannyLee said ...
12/27/2007 11:25 PM
ugh! I do the same thing... I actually have very little clutter in the house. It gets too overwhelming when I'm surrounded with a bunch of stuff that I know I don't need.

I know what you mean, though, about looking and/or waiting for answers. And I agree... I think this Pennsylvania whether is starting to get to me, too. I haven't seen the sun in a few weeks I think.


more said ...
12/28/2007 5:11 AM
I always find it so horrifying to find dust behind things (is that really how lazy I am?) but deeply satisfied when I've subsequently removed it.

As for the clear out, we're having guests from overseas at the moment, but I have 'sternly informed' my BF that after the new year I am going to make a pile or two that he has to go through and -honestly- decide what stays and what goes.

Long live Freecycle!

Hope you're both well :)

http://more_thanblue.livejournal.com/


capello said ...
12/28/2007 9:28 AM
i'm having the same thing here and i'm trying to embrace it.

but it's so damn tempting to curl up and watch tv.


Bitterbetty said ...
12/28/2007 6:51 PM
I have cleaned my clothes closet, my linen closet and my bathroom cabinet. I am really trying to make my head stay in a one thing at a time... and "get ready first, then start" mode.

I really want a year that is a bit more deliberate and less chaotic. I am holding you up as a role model.


Angelina said ...
12/28/2007 8:43 PM
I used to like to deny that the "new year" had any actual meaning, that the turning of the calendar page was nothing more than the turning of a calendar page. I have since come to realize that I always look forward to the New Year and that I feel excited about the possibilities, about the opportunity to assess, change, and sometimes discard. I can no longer deny that for me it is not only meaningful but that I enjoy going introspective when approaching the beginning of a possible new chapter.

I don't let it hang heavy on my shoulders though. My introspection now is more about what I can do going forward, about improvements, and about finding better ways of doing familiar things and not at all a time to reflect on what I didn't achieve in the past year.

The new year, to me, is about the capacity humans have to hope and believe in change even when it seems impossible.

 
Silvia.Insaurralde said ...
12/29/2007 1:51 AM
Might be the "New Year Purge", but I prefer to think that it must be that calm/eagerness previous to moments of enlightenment and inspiration. I say "I prefer" 'cause I'm in a similar state of mind. Well... the difference is that we are on summer vacation and I don't go back to work for some time. Besides there´s the sun, the heat, the bursting nature...
Anyway, I'm thinking right now about a phrase that a colleague is always repeating when we talk. She says that her grandma used to repeat this to her all the time: when the hand's at work, the mind's at rest (I'm sure there's an equivalent for this in English, but I don't know how it is). Well, I must say that I totally disagree with this statement (needless to say that we don't get along well), because she means that manual work and intellect and manual work don't mix (deep down inside, she means that, since I'm a craftswoman, I'm not a complete intellectual as she might be).
Crafting allows me to consider, think, reflect, arrange ideas, rearrange then, re-signify, plan. Meanwhile, the hands accompany that process. The same goes for cleaning (cleansing, purging): I've met great ideas while rearranging stuff around the house.
On the other hand, I'm recalling a phrase that we use in everyday life: estar de balde. It is quite difficult to translate this to the English: to be doing nothing. A professor I know says talks about this expression very often. Recently she talked about it in a convention I went to, recently. There is no nothing in doing nothing, and by this she means that you don´t need to be making things to be doing something. That "estar de balde" (be doing nothing) leads to reflection and creation. Like the calm before the storm.
I wish you all the best. Happy New Year (Purge)


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