A list of all the movies we watched.

A list of all the movies we watched.

A list of all the movies we watched.

A list of all the movies we watched.

A list of all the movies we watched.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters was pretty funny, but it's more of an in-joke, nerdy kind of funny - which makes it less funny.  I watched a little of the extras where all the pudgy nerds who created/wrote/animated the show talked and laughed.  They seem like a fun bunch of guys to have a beer with, but they make a barely-accessible comedy.

I totally love the show, though.  And the movie had just as many funny moments as an episode.  Frylock, Shake, and Meatwad (and Carl) are great characters.

My favorite moment was when Shake and Meatwad are trying to look at a bra website on Frylock's computer (they look like old-lady cross-your-heart bras in white).  Frylock says, "What?!  Haven't you seen a bra before?"  and Shake says, "Yeah, sure.  But not with the boob-meat still in it."

I also liked the cartoon version of downtown Philadelphia.  The two blue glass, pointed buildings are Liberty One and Liberty Two.

I've been avoiding this post.  I wanted to like Grey Gardens SO much.  I didn't know anything about it when I put it into my NetFlix queue except that Emily of Black Apple (who is completely adorable) loved it, there is a musical on Broadway about it, and that it was a documentary from the 70s.

When I started watching and learned that the *estate* was called Grey Gardens, I swooned.  What a great name!

Then the disappointment set in.  Then I started feeling sick to my stomach.  Then I really wanted to turn it off.  But I didn't turn it off.  I even listened to the radio interview the daughter and director did years later in an effort to turn my opinion around.  I was going to watch the commentary, but after a week of putting it off, I decided that I didn't want to watch it again.

I think those women need care ... of many kinds.  And, although they are very charming in their way, I became sick thinking that no one was helping them.

The defense that they wanted this movie doesn't wash with me.  You can find all sorts of people who want all sorts of things, but the fact that someone wants something doesn't make it the right thing to do to give it to them.  I could make all sorts of inflammatory examples* ... but I'm sure you have an imagination.

* I'm resisting my urge because I don't want to get angry emails or start any debates about this.  I just don't think it was right to make this movie ... you might think otherwise.

[photo taken 7/5/2007 in New York]

The Masters of Horror episode named Pro-Life was a huge disappointment.  We really liked Cigarette Burns, an episode which was also directed by John Carpenter (of Halloween fame).  Pro-life was so terrible.  It's what I imagine regular TV must be like.  I wouldn't know since I haven't watched a regular TV show for years.  Now that I think about it, the last TV show I watched regularly was the second season of Sopranos.  When the third season started we thought it sucked.  I watch things like the Daily Show sometimes, or Cold Case Files, but they aren't "show" shows - like a sitcom.  Anyway, Pro-life was bad.

Viva was made as a nod to 60's sexploitation movies.  There was a Q&A with the writer/ director/ star/ set designer ... Anna Biller after the movie.  She said that she wanted to show that the feminist questions and concerns of the 60's are relevant today.  She just didn't sell it to me.  The first review on IMDb says it best:

"How on Earth a movie with this many naked people in it could be this painfully dull is simply beyond me."

There were plenty of ridiculous moments that were very funny, but the movie isn't a comedy, per se.  Viva, the main character played by Anna, gets raped twice (a date-rape kind of thing and a drugged and raped kind of thing) and the fact that she was raped is never addressed.  I find that weird if you have the intention of addressing women's issues.  Especially in the context of today.

I don't recommend the movie for watching, but if you want to see some AMAZING 60's crafts and stuff, you should check this movie out.  Anna spent years buying vintage 60's things and making set dressings.  She made several macramé plant hangers that are wonderful.  The clothes, the bedroom sets, the living rooms, the paintings, the crochet ---- it's all kick ass.  It would all look right at home on Cathy of California.  Maybe you could watch it with the sound off.

The Kovak Box had promise, but it didn't pull through. They started killing off the characters before I cared about them, so I wasn't so interested in finding their killer.  I did enjoy the climactic scene in which hoards of annoying American tourists commit suicide (the mad scientist made them do it ...).  The plot makes no sense - even on reflection.  It's completely impossible, improbable, and im-everything-negative.  I didn't realize Timothy Hutton was still acting.  To put my review in perspective, this one was voted a festival favorite by viewers, so I'm in the minority.

Even though Trigger Man was produced by Larry Fessenden and features a cameo appearance by him, I just can't bring myself to recommend it.  It is a stunning example of bare bones film making ... but I think there weren't enough bones.

I was looking forward to the Thai horror movie, Unseeable.  Boy was I disappointed.  I guessed the premise right away, which made the movie totally boring.  It was like watching a puppet show.  Every time someone moved out of frame, there was someone (or something) unexpected standing behind them.  It got to be that if there wasn't something there, you felt a little disappointed.  But you sure as heck weren't scared.

In the post-movie Q&A with the director, we learned that S&Man (pronounced Sandman) was 50% documentary, 50% fiction.  I pushed for this one because the write up talked about how it was a documentary about the dark, shocking underbelly of the underground horror scene.  Um, well it wasn't much of a doco ... and it wasn't shocking.  Not. At. All.  To be shocked by this movie you'd have to be an 8-year-old girl that cries at the thought of frowning puppies.

I Don't Want To Sleep Alone ... I don't want to sit through another minute of this movie.  I love minimalist movies.  I love no talking.  I love beautiful shots.  This movie was incredibly beautiful, but the characters were non-existent.  The story was more-existent, but since I didn't know who the hell these characters were or how they related, the story didn't do much for me.  For a movie, or any story, to be engaging, there needs to be tension ... and not the "why does this freakin' beautiful movie seem like it's 14 hours long?!?!" kind of tension.

I read the Dune books in my teens and totally loved them.  But, even though Eno did some music for it, David Lynch directed it, Sting walks around in his underpants in it, Coop (Kyle MacLachlan) is it's lead actor, and Max von Sydow graces it with his presence, and Jean-Luc (Patrick Stewart) swaggers around in it, I just can't recommend the movie version of Dune.  Not even one tiny moment of it's THREE hours.  As quoted from the movie, "It is not Good.  It is bad."

The Other (1972) was probably good in the 70's.  We've seen too many movies where things aren't what they seem ... so, within the first 3 minutes of this movie, we had it figured out.  But then I thought, "That was too easy," and then I second guessed my second guess.  I spent a lot of the movie saying, "What?"  Ultimately, I was just confused, and I didn't even care anymore.

The little boy twin actors are some of the best child actors I've ever seen.  They were wonderful.

The twins' shorts are so short that I have to question the intentions of the wardrobe department.  Freaky short.

John Ritter is in the movie.  But not as much as I would have hoped.

The grandmother is totally awesome.  It's like they spliced her in from another movie.

[photo taken 11-11-2006 in Philadelphia]

Last House on the Left (1972) is a terrible movie.  It's poorly written, poorly acted, and poorly shot.  It has the worst use of Day For Night that I've ever seen. But, it gave me a night's worth of violent nightmares, so it made an impression, at least.

It's the first movie written and directed by Wes Craven, and it was produced by Sean Cunningham, who went on to create the Friday the 13th franchise.  Last House on the Left is based on Ingmar Bergman's film The Virgin Spring (1960), which I haven't seen yet.

Last House on the Left might be the first of the Torture Genre, which includes movies like Hostel and Calvaire.  Except, of course, Last House on the Left's biggest squirmy moments are because it's just so, so, so bad.

If you do decide to watch it ... be sure to check out the shirt the girl gangster is wearing in the forest scenes.  I want that shirt!

[photo taken 9-10-2006 in Chadd's Ford, PA]

We rented The Omen remake.  The first scare made me almost swallow my tongue.  The second scare made me slap my hands on my head so hard, I gave myself a head ache.  The scares were GOOD! But, there was only really two big scares, the character development wasn't so good, the movie could have been scarier and creepier, and it was just a little too slick and Hollywood.

Things I liked:  Creepy Mia Farrow.  She is creepy even in real life, but even more so in this movie.  There's just something that isn't right about her. Pete Postlethwaite is one of my favorite actors, and I liked him in this.  David Thewlis is great, too, and, strangely, we watched part of Naked a couple nights ago on TV, in which he's brilliant. The kid who plays Damien is super creepy.

[photo taken 9-6-2004 in Montreal]

We watched Damien: Omen II during dinner tonight because we figured it would be less scary than CNN.  We were right.

[photo taken 10-03-2005 in Philadelphia]